First off, before I get into anything, I just want to state what this post is NOT. This post is not "why your choice is wrong". If you picked something different, then that's your choice, or your Shepard's choice or some combination thereof and if you are fine with it, great! In fact, I'd love to hear why you chose differently. I just want to explain why I can't pick them. Some personal reasons and some in-game reasons.
Now that that is out of the way, without further adieu... (yes, I "borrowed" my post from BSN again, but this time I went totally George Lucas on it! Here's the Special Edition version!)
On March 6th, I went internet dark. I didn't read any forums, watch any youtube vids, nothing. I wanted to be spoiler-free. If I screwed up in my first playthrough, so what? That's what second, third, fourth, etc playthroughs for were for, right?. Whatever I did, I would suck it up and just soldier on. No reloads on mistakes. And, believe me, I made mistakes. I lost out on a lot of sidequests because I didn't know about the Citadel coup. I didn't know you could warn Miranda, so I lost her in addition to Thane. I never found Kelly at all, so I lost her as well. I was about 2/3 through the game before I discovered the thrill of Singularity + Biotic Charge. And that was by pure accident.
What am I getting at? How is this relevant to FemShep? Well, when I finally got to the end and finally had control of my character again... I am proud, damn proud that Kendra didn't believe a word that that little snot had just told her. I don't care what the auto-dialogue made her say. Don't get me started on how she had just proved his circular logic wrong on the Rannoch mission.
After all the crap she had been through during the game... heck, all three games, no way in hell those bastards were gonna live. Now, was part of that because she was Renegade? Because she had the Ruthless background? I can't sit here and deny that it wasn't part of it. But, me, the player sitting in the chair, wasn't gonna have any of his bullcrap either.
Yeah, sure, I replayed the ending to see the other two options, and then went and searched out forums, vids, etc to see others' reactions.... because, seriously? WTF?
But, my initial gut reaction?
That isn't to say that I wouldn't welcome a fourth "argue with the little snot" option. I would. Gladly. Or the Indoctrination theory. If Bioware decides to pick up the loose threads and go that route, I would welcome that as well. It's just that given what we have right now, I'm... god, I almost typed "happy" there... I'm... okay with my choice. Just hopefully the upcoming DLC clears up a lot of this mess and this isn't all we ever get.
As I said before, I immediately went back and replayed the entire Citadel portion again twice more just to see the other two "options". At 4am. On a Sunday night/Monday morning. I wouldn't recommend that to anybody. All because my autosave put me back to the Normandy, so I had to pick the "restart mission" save, which was right before the beam. Ugh.
As upset as I was, I was not prepared for how distraught seeing the other two "endings" would make me. How all three of them made me upset. I probably don't need to explain why, there's been enough talk about them all over the internet.
After seeing the third one (Synthesis in my case)... I just went numb. I wanted to curl up in a fetal position and pretend the world didn't exist. I read the BSN forums and watched Youtube vids. I tried to sleep off and on, but got maybe three hours at best. That's all I remember about Monday. I don't think I ate at all. Tuesday was mildly better in that I maybe ate something. I might have lost the whole week if it wasn't for the fact that I had to go back to work on Wednesday.
Why did I type all that? I... have no idea. It just wanted to get out. But, I'm gonna leave it there before I change my mind.
So, Control. Why can't I pick Control? Because it's what The Illusive Man wanted. Kendra had been arguing with him all game about it and now she's just gonna go along with it? Sorry, that just doesn't work for me. Kendra had spent the whole game... all three games, arguing with people. Now she just blindly accepts what she's told? No, no, no, no, no. Hell no.
Assuming that she were to pick it, just what happens to Shepard anyway? Is her essence spread throughout all the Reapers and she orders them to leave? How long will her essence last? A year? A thousand years? A million? If it does fade, what happens? Do the Reapers return and the cycle begins anew? The game gave us no answers to any of those questions and I just could not take the chance.
And that brings us to Synthesis and I have to decide just how personal I want to be on this. You see, I could be considered partly synthetic. Nothing internal, it's all external prosthesis, but I can't walk without them. When I was a kid, my mom would take me to see doctors every few months. Always a new doctor and always the same answer "he needs to have surgery". On the way home, my mom would always be upset. Being a kid, I didn't understand why. I figured it was something I did and did my best to stay quiet on the long drives home. It wasn't until I was an adult that I fully understood. I had asked her about it and she explained to me that she didn't feel right making the decision for me. It was a major surgery and it could have affected my growth plate leaving me stuck at what size I was at the time. I did make the decision when I was sixteen and my life has been better for it, but I am glad she let me make that choice myself.
So, what is my point? How is this relevant? How can I make a choice that affects the DNA of the entire galaxy if my mother didn't feel right making a similar choice for her own son. I just can't do it. I can't. Ever. No matter what the in-game justification for it.
Which is why my FemSheps (whenever it is that I finally import them into ME3), no matter their morality, will always pick the Destroy option. My maleSheps? No idea. I don't have as strong an attachment to them as I do my FemSheps. And my male Renegon? He's a freaking lunatic. Lord only knows what he'll do.
You know, about a month ago (as of this writing), red wasn't in the list of colors I liked. It was too bright, too flashy. It just didn't appeal to me. Green was my favorite color. It still is. But red? Red is now a close second.
I guess it's just all matter of....
I should add that due to all my mistakes and missed War Assets and the fact that I hadn't played any multiplayer at all at that point, I did NOT get the little breath movie at the end. You know what? I'm still damn proud of Kendra's choice.