Mara-isms

[Blze]

Because what is a great hero without a listing of her more humorous quotes (as compiled by crewmates):

• *About Udina* People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
• *About Udina* That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
• *About the Council* There are several people in this galaxy that I find unbearably obnoxious, and you are all of them.
• *Turian Councilor* I'd call you a tool, but at least they serve a purpose.
• The galaxy is lucky I'm a nice girl, otherwise only 1/4 of them would be alive right now.
• I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.
• Don't confuse me with facts, my mind's already made up.
• Go team retard!
• Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?
• Remember: If at first you don't succeed, destroy any evidence that you ever tried.
• I don’t fumble, I improvise!
• Remember that this is just my opinion. Also, remember, that I'm always right.
• I'm smiling. This alone should scare you.
• The omni-tool. A cost effective way of becoming completely self involved, oblivious to everyone and everything, a total pro at useless games and a genius at accessing the pointless.
• *Looking at Liara's backside* It’s a shame you have to sit on something that attractive.
• And how does this seemingly minuscule thing do that? Well, it’s a funny story, but basically; shut up, that’s how.
• My level of planning is somewhere between ‘bugger’ and ‘all’...
• Well, that was a catastrophic success.
• Why does life insist on teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
• *To councilor after he dismisses her claims* And as for your smug little face, I'm not so much irritated by it as I am memorizing it. You know, for when this all blows up in your face.

• Short answer: no. Long answer: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
• No. There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
• My relationship with Kelly is strictly professional... fine, mostly professional...
• *To Udina* I'd like to remind you that this investigation will bring me within ball-kicking distance of you.
• *To Conrad* Conrad... I'm sure you have great wit, you just need to use more than half of it.
• These damn investigators put the "JAG" in "jagoff".
• Tactics? The krogan go through the strategy manual and replace every instance of the word "tactical" with "quads out".
• Quod erat demonstrandum, motherfuckers...
• A computer beat me in chess once. But it didn't stand a chance in kickboxing.
• That plan left Port Sensible on the SSV Quirky hours ago
• The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of The Council, common sense snuck in at number 79.
• Watch me dance around the issue! Dancey, dancey, lah-di-dah!
• Innovation is to the council what a double cheeseburger would be to a lactose-intolerant Hindu.
• *At Hock’s party* Bad guys always have the best food...
• Screw the fast lane, I live in oncoming traffic!
• Lets do this the old fashioned way! Fuck modern technology right on it’s bleeding edge.... that came out horrible...
• You think life’s a swim. Then you jump into the deep end and it’s suddenly “Oh shit, were are my water wings?”
• Oh for... what the shit?

Liara: Dear, your claws are showing.

Mara: They don't retract.

Hackett: Do I make myself clear?
Mara: Are you looking for “yes”?
Hackett: Yes.
Mara: Then yes. 

 

Garrus: Not really the explosive climax I thought it would be.
Mara: Is nobody going to touch that? Seriously?

 

*They see a few mercenaries with a krogan leading them*
Mara: Don’t worry. I have a plan.
*Mara runs up and hits the Krogan hard enough to knock him flat on his back*
Liara: Really? That was the plan? Hit the big one?

 

Mara: Oh come on, I hit him a few times!
Garrus: I didn’t see you hitting anything but the wall.
Mara: How could you tell, you were running straight backwards!
Garrus: I have a long-range weapon, I need distance to use it properly.
Mara: Where were you planning on shooting him from, the fucking moon? If you had backed up any farther you would’ve had to mail him the bullets!

 

Cerberus Trooper: You’ll never make it to your shuttle, my squadmates will cut you down before you get close.
Mara: Thanks “human shield”

 

Alia: “There is a 70 percent chance I do this and the FTL drive activates. There’s a 50 percent chance we blow up.”
Garrus: “But that’s 120 percent.”
Alia: “Well, there’s some crossover where the FTL drive activates *and* we blow up.”
Garrus: [over radio] Shepard, did you catch any of that?
Mara: [over radio] Yeah. 100 percent chance we should’ve brought someone who knows what they’re doing.

 

Garrus: “Are you okay?”
Mara: “I’ve got tinglies all over.... don’t flatter yourself, it’s probably not you.”

 

Liara: “You have no idea where that is.”
Mara: “I don’t even know where it’s not.”

 

Mara: We’re already separated and lost underground, how much worse can this get?
*Kalros shakes the tunnel*
Garrus: How about that much?
Mara: It was a mistake the moment I said it. The moment!

 

Ash: Follow my lead. Stay behind me and keep it tight
Mara: Bow-chicka-bow-wow....
Ash: On second thought, Shepard goes first.
Mara: Eh, worth it.

 

Liara: We should come up with a whole new last name.
Mara: I got it. Liara and Damara Awesome. Hey have you met the Awesomes? Liara, Mara, and their daughters; Totally and Freaking?

 

Mara: So I get to meet Liara tomorrow and explain to her how my pilot ran me through with a dammned butterknife.
Joker: To be fair, it didn’t go very deep.
Mara: I’m sorry, is this a discussion on the extent to which you stabbed me?

 

*To the council* Apparently you guys can’t tell whether I approve of your ideas or not, so I’ll make this as unambiguous as possible: This idea is fucking. Fucking. Fucking. Awful. Awful. Awful. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Do it. Do it. Do it. Exclamation point, exclamation point, excla-fucking-mationpoint

 

*Mara acts flirty and shows her cleavage to a bouncer. He lets them in*
Jacob: Did that just work?
Mara: Sure did. Goddess I love these girls!

 

Mara: Why do you always take Miri's side?
Liara: Her tactics aren't predicated on explosion potential.
Mara: I see that as a weakness.

 

Mara: I am not going through there.
Hackett: We need someone to evaluate the situation.
Mara: I can "evaluate" just fine from right here. We're in this system and we're alive. Bravo team flew through that relay and now they're about fifty different kinds of fucked up. That's the situation.

 

Garrus: I prefer to keep the same amount of blood that I have right now. So... new plan?
Mara: Fine. Wait, does that blood have to be inside you?

 

Damara: You seem to be in a better mood.
Garrus: Actually, I'm in a really good mood. Which is odd considering where I was a few hours ago. And there is this problem with Sidonus getting away with killing my team, plus now I'm stuck working with you.
Damara: Thanks for lumping me in with betrayal, murder and death. Can't tell you how much that means.

 

Andersen: You’re going to fight them? Are you crazy?
Mara: No, just incredibly pissed off

 

 

[Red]

This made me lolz.

[AdmiralCheez]

I might have to use the "keeps having puppies" line sometimes in real life.

[jOHN bULLOCK]

indoctrinated

[Ottemis]

that's awesome =D

[stephen klassen]

awesome